also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
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Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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