ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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