my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
