why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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