So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
