You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
