please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
