Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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