: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
