im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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