Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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