im drinking this country out of the recession.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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