She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
