we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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