I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
