I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
