I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
