can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
