I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize