I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
no, he came in my armpit
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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