a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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