don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
