Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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