dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
