I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize