just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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