I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
