...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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