Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
