hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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