stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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