Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need water and some morals
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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