I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
