I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Green mimosas i think yes
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
