Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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