Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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