I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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