I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
zippers are such a cool invention
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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