I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
