I want to walk on stilts...naked
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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