hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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