Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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