You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
