totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
