Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
