Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
