Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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