You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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