new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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