plz talk dirty to me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize