I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
