he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
