I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize