I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
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