even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize