Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
