My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize