Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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