So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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