Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
