Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
