I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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