A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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