Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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