I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ketchup is God's man juice
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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